life without friends is like like chocolate without sugar

Right now I'm so, so tired. SO, so, so tired. I'm feeling numb I suppose. Its weird how at crunch time these defense mechanisims kick in. That or I'm just exhausted. Saying goodbye to mum and dad this morning was awful, in my heart at that moment it felt like it was the last time I'll ever see them, I know its not, I'll be back in under a year. I think its just the distance that makes it feel like it'll be forever. I have loved having them so close after 6 years away, I am really going to miss them.

We cleaned out the flat entirely today, its ready for the tenents, I don't want to see it again until it looks like this again, clean and tidy and ready for us to move back. The thought of someone else living there is too much. Having to shed yorself of all your possessions, all your small, carried up from cape town, schleped from res to digs to here stuff, is quite an experience. I've begun to realise more than ever that I don't want my life to be about stuff, about things I have, I want it to be about things I've done.

Anyway its late. Good night my dear friends. You are dearer now than ever, and having to leave makes me realise it all the more.